


Phases of a Romance

by wonderlandiscrumbling



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Canon Divergence, Ed has a crush on Oswald, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Oswald has trust issues, starts with season two, trans Ed, transgender character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-03-19 13:41:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 18,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13705614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonderlandiscrumbling/pseuds/wonderlandiscrumbling
Summary: The moment that Ed found Penguin in the woods with a bullet in his shoulder he knew by all reason he shouldn't attempt to save his life, but against better judgement he did. He didn't know that saving his life and giving him a place to stay while he healed would result in a long mildly complicated dance of a relationship.





	1. A Penguin in the Woods

When Edward had found Penguin in the middle of the woods he hadn’t thought much ahead. He’d been quite startled to discover him there, disorientated, possibly near the point of death, and in need of medical assistance. It never had crossed his mind the potential danger in dragging his prone form back to his car, apologizing repeatedly to the unconscious man for not being able to carry him. Ed was a man of science with a fascination with criminology, physical strength had always been quite a weak point for him. Even as he had driven back to his apartment, casually speaking to the man bleeding onto the backseat of his car, he hadn’t thought about what a terrible idea it could be to save him. The voice in his head warned it was a terrible idea, he’d already committed three murders in a short period of time, and now he was going to give asylum to a wanted criminal. Yet a care taker instinct made him want to at least attempt to help him, he hopelessly prayed that Penguin wouldn’t murder him upon waking, but he doubted if he lived that he would be in any condition to take a life. In truth ever since Ms. Kringle’s unfortunate death he had been feeling quite lonely, he had grown quickly accustomed to friends for the short time he’d managed to have them.

He had enjoyed being involved, feeling normal, and wanted for the first time in his life. As a child he’d been quiet and reserved, teachers often commenting that they had forgotten he was even in their class due to how silent and ghostlike he was. As a teenager things had grown rougher for the most part, both at home and at school. He shook his head silently chastising himself for thinking on the past, it never did more other than drive him into fits of anxiety and depression. He shifted uncomfortably in his car seat, he tugged at the edges of his binder through his shirt feeling the garment digging into his skin, he’d been wearing it nearly all day. He sighed and gave another glance back at Penguin, under the flickering lights provided by the street lamps they passed under he looked quite pale, skin glistening with sweat, his dirtied black hair damp and clinging to his face. Ed did worry he might not make it and then he would have the issue of what to do with the body.

He tried not to think about that, he was determined to stay in the positive and think about saving him, he was quite secure in his skills, and he had enough surgical and medical supplies he had bought online and stolen from work over the past couple of years to provide him with what he needed. As he pulled up to the curb and parked his car he took a moment to think over how he would get him upstairs and into his apartment. A glance at his wristwatch showed him that it was nearly four in the morning, the chances of anybody being awake and walking about were slim to none. He thought over the tenants, mostly older people, three families that he knew of, and a couple of college aged people. He felt that nobody would really notice him if they saw him, if he carried him the right way they might assume he was coming home with a drunk friend. 

Ed got out and went around to the back, he opened the door and attempted to maneuver the other man into a sitting position before hooking his arm around him under his arms. He groaned as he pulled his limp body out of the car finding himself nearly out of breath as he attempted to get the other man’s dead weight to lean against his side, head lolling against Ed’s shoulder. He closed the door and began the slow and awkward walk to the front entrance of the building, he felt a mild anxiety as he walked up the stairs, tension feeling him when his companion did begin to stir making a pained groaning sound before going still again. The last thing Ed wanted was for his murderous acquaintance to wake and immediately go into panic mode, if that happened then he knew they would both surely end up locked away.

Relief settled in when he arrived at his door, he reached into his pocket fumbling around for his keys. He worked to hold Penguin up while unlocking and opening his door pushing it open. Once inside he was quick to kick the door shut behind him then drag the other man to the bed letting him drop onto its surface. 

He felt clear and collected now that they were inside, safely tucked away in his safe place. He worked smoothly and methodically, removing the foul-smelling ruins of a suit the other man wore and tossing them into the trash can, he made a mental note to purchase him a new suit later if he took too much issue with that one being disposed of. He could feel eyes on him as he worked to extract the bullet and clean the wound, he could feel the judgement coming from his alter, and he frankly wasn’t in the mood for it.

‘Do you remember that rat we found when we were a kid, cute little thing. Broken foot, but we’d read enough medical books to have some inkling of an idea on how to fix that. We snuck it in, patched him up, gave him a name, and decided to try and keep him.’ His other self mused, determined to catch Ed’s attention.

Ed glanced up at his other smug self, the man wearing a black suit, brown eyes glinting with mischief.

“This isn’t a rat, this is a human being if you haven’t noticed.” He stated gesturing towards the man on the bed.

‘Do you remember when dad found the rat, how pissed off he had been? Do you remember him making you watch as he’d snapped its neck, dropped it into the trash, and then hit you for lying…Of course you remember, you can still hear the snap.’ He said, hands moving in mock gesture of breaking a neck.

Ed gritted his teeth, his fingers trembled as he did his best to ignore his alter. He finished bandaging the unconscious man up, he moved to his dresser to try and find clothes that might possibly fit him without being comically big. 

‘You can’t keep him, he’s going to get in the way of our game. I thought you were on board, we were on the same page until you found that pathetic waste. Don’t tell me you still have that crush on him.’

“It’s not a crush, he’s interesting, and besides I think he can help us-me, he can help me. I don’t need your help, all you do is drag me into situations where I can possibly be caught and thrown in Arkham.”

The other laughed, ‘What can he teach you, how to get shot, and nearly bleed to death in the woods like an animal? Just give his neck a snap, we both know how good you are with that.’

Ed slammed the dresser drawer shut, he turned to glare at his other self. “Shut up, I don’t need to hear this right now.” He angrily shot back as he made his way to the bed. He sat down on the foot of his bed covering his face with his hands, he worked on steadying his breathing and clearing his mind. He counted to ten before lowering his hands and looking around the room to find only himself and Penguin, who thankfully was still passed out.

“Sorry about that, I promise it isn’t a constant thing…Well recently it’s been constant, but I’m working on it. I also do apologize about the clothes, I know they’re much too big.” He explained himself as he pulled a pair of pajama pants onto the other man noticing the way they hung off of him, the shirt doing about the same. He sighed and got to his feet muttering that it would be good enough for now.

He resumed with his normal night routines as if there wasn’t a murderer sleeping in his bed. He went to the bathroom undressing, wincing at the pain in his back as he removed his chest binder. He took a quick shower, a worried paranoia in the back of his mind that Penguin could wake up and get out without him knowing, but he knew that was ridiculous. Once he was out of the shower he pulled on a black t-shirt and a pair of red flannel pants, he was pleased to see Penguin in the same position he’d left in him, and still sleeping. He walked over to him placing the back of his hand against his forehead, still sweaty, and feverish. If he survived through the rest of the night and the next day then he should be okay, the main issues would come when he finally did wake up. If memory served him accurately, Penguin was a curt and slightly rude man. He pondered for a moment if he even remembered him, he felt he wasn’t the sort of person a man like Penguin would ever even try to remember. Something about that stung, he’d been so wanting to make an impression on him at the GCPD that day, a foolish part of him had hoped perhaps he’d see his potential and ask for his assistance on something, anything. 

Ed settled on his futon, he hooked up his Atari turning it on and losing himself in the game he had been playing before his killing spree. Playing video games, he found tended to help him focus on something, to feel like he was doing something useful, and it kept him from worrying over the fact the police could be looking for him at the moment.


	2. Missed Calls and Angry Voices

Oswald was not an ideal roommate. Ed wasn’t too sure where the surprise in that was, but he felt that some of the mystery and glamor he had associated before with the criminal had tarnished. For the first couple of weeks of staying with him, Oswald had for the most part just hidden under the duvet and cried, sometimes singing to himself, but mostly going through the stages of grief. Ed had done his best to be understanding, but he had found it difficult to really comprehend what Oswald was going through, at least in a way where he could offer condolences. He could tell by his angered responses and constant eye rolling that the right things were not being said. That was why Ed felt better once Oswald worked through his state of depression and into better spirits.

Except now he had found himself noticing more things about him, annoying and infuriating things. He caught on quickly that Oswald was quite selfish, obviously an only child who had been spoiled and doted on by an over bearing mother. Ed couldn’t exactly relate to any of that, but it did allow him to understand why his temporary roommate had practically claimed Ed’s apartment as his own. It was even to the point that Ed found himself lingering in the GCPD, preferring the risk of being found out by the police than answering his phone when Oswald began calling him again. Unfortunately, Barnes found it abnormal and slightly unhealthy for Ed to spend his time hiding in the office and had ordered him to go home, he found himself unable to really argue with a man who had the build of a wrestler, so he had left. As he got into his car Oswald was calling him again, this time Ed fished his phone out of his pocket, flipping it open and hitting ignore before shoving it back into his pocket. 

He realized as he drove back home that Oswald would probably be sitting at the small kitchen table waiting for him, more than likely he’d be annoyed and begin chastising him for hanging up on him and ignoring several of his calls. He had felt that his friend had understood it when he told him to only call him at work when there was an emergency, not every time he wanted him to do some mundane task for him. Ed pulled up to the curb parking his car, he sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. Again, his phone was going off, he felt his right eye twitch at the sound of his ringtone. He didn’t even bother with it this time, he was home, and he was sure Oswald would be agitated. Slowly he made his way into the building and up the stairs, humming along to the song playing as his phone once again began ringing. 

When he entered his apartment he found Oswald pacing, home phone pressed against his ear, lips pressed into a thin line, green eyes filled with annoyance as he tapped his good foot against the floor. He stopped his pacing when he saw Ed enter the apartment, he slammed the phone back down onto its cradle and approached his friend.

“And where have you been?” 

“At work, I told you after the third time that you called me today that I gave you my cell phone number for emergency calls only and that was not an emergency call.” He said as he pushed past the other man.

Oswald turned and followed him as Ed expected.

“Well excuse me if I can’t go to the grocery store or down to do laundry, I’m stuck here all day like some sort of prisoner.” He complained.

Ed laid his coat over the back of the futon, he kicked off his shoes picking them up and placing them on a nearby chair. He turned to face his friend doing his best to hide his evident annoyance at the fit he was throwing. “Oswald, you are a wanted fugitive, I obviously by no means am forcing you to stay here. I just thought that you wanted to stay here with me, for the sake of protection I mean.” 

Oswald folded his arms across his chest, Ed knew he was getting into his state of realizing he sounded like a jerk, but he would never admit to it or apologize.

“Did you stop at the store at least?” He asked, tone less angry as he attempted a switch of topics.

Ed let out a heavy sigh, “No, I didn’t. I’ve had a long day, but if you really want me to run out I can do so tomorrow morning.”

He could tell by the eye roll that that was the wrong answer, but he frankly didn’t care right now. He felt a pounding in his head and a sudden wave of nausea. He turned and left hurrying into the bathroom closing the door behind him. His sight became blurred as he stumbled to the sink clutching the edges of it to keep himself steady.

‘Let me handle it, he isn’t helping, he’s just mooching off you. Let me take the wheel, I’ll solve our bird problem.’ 

Ed shook his head, he glared up at the mirror seeing the image of himself smirking.

‘I feel like this time you’re spending with him isn’t benefiting us, he’s distracting you, just like Kristen was doing.’

“I’m not listening to this, you aren’t real.” He hissed at him doing his best to keep his voice in the range of a whisper.

The last thing he wanted was for Oswald to hear him talking to himself, to see that he was unstable and had the nasty habit of getting into fights with mirrors. He could still feel those eyes on him peering through the glass, his heart was pounding in his chest, his throat felt like it was closing. He could hear his other self laughing, excited by the concept that he might have just won this battle. A moment later the room went black and he felt himself fall to the floor.


	3. Head Injury

“Ed, Ed!” 

A sharp pain shot through the back of his head.

“Wake up, you know I can’t call a hospital. Ed, come on.” 

He groaned as he felt somebody slap his cheek, he felt cool air against his skin and another slightly harder slap to his face. He opened his eyes to see Oswald looking down at him, as his eyes focused he could see what he perceived to be worry and maybe even fear on the other man’s face. 

“Did you slap me?” He mumbled still feeling incoherent as he pulled himself up into a sitting position. He winced in pain as he scooted back until he could feel the coolness of the bath tub against his bare back. His eyes widened when he realized he could feel the cool porcelain on his skin, he was quick to grab a towel out of the laundry basket and cover himself with it. Despite the slight sick feeling and the pain in his head he found himself jumping to his feet and keeping close to the wall as he looked down at himself then up at Oswald, the other man looking concerned and evidently confused.

“Did, did you….Where’s my shirt a-and my binder?”

“You passed out, I couldn’t get you to wake up, and you were hardly breathing. What else was I supposed to do?” He responded, despite the fact he was trying to sound defensive and angry the hitch in his voice showed he was more scared than anything.

Ed pondered for just a second if Oswald had been scared of him dying or if he was only scared of losing his hideout.

“C-can you please just get me a shirt?” He quietly asked looking away from the other man.

Wordlessly Oswald left the room. Ed let out a shaky breath, he seated himself on the edge of the bath tub, he kept a firm grip on the towel wrapped around his chest. He nervously waited for this to be brought up, he’d gone this entire time without disclosing with him about this, he’d hoped to go a little longer. 

Oswald re-entered the room carrying a black t-shirt, Ed took it from him muttering a ‘thank you’. He felt the slightest bit better when Oswald turned around facing away from him giving him at least some privacy to get dressed. Ed looked at the shirt he’d picked out, he smiled fondly as he ran his fingers over the faded Majora’s Mask logo. He’d had the shirt since his late teens, despite the fact he became fonder of suits as he got older he still found it impossible to throw out any of his old gaming shirts. He pulled the shirt on and tossed the towel back into the laundry basket. He approached Oswald placing a hand on his shoulder, he could feel him tense for just a second before relaxing and turning to face him. 

“Thank you for helping, not so much for slapping me.”

“I was trying to wake you up.” He argued.

Ed smiled softly, he could still feel a ball of anxiety in the pit of his stomach. “I suppose I should explain some things.” He awkwardly stated as he let his hand drop back down to his side.

“About you being transgender, I already knew.”

“You….You already knew, how did you know?”

Oswald bit and chewed his bottom lip, he looked away from him staring off at the corner of the room as if it were suddenly interesting.

“Oswald.”

“That first time you left for work after I’d started being able to get out of bed more often. I may have gone through your apartment, I did it as a safety precaution, for all I knew you could have been a cop, or a complete lunatic. Turns out you aren’t quite interesting enough to be a secret serial killer and I still can’t comprehend how you’ve killed three people already.”

Ed stood gaping at him trying to comprehend the fact that he had gone through is belongings without his knowledge. He knew by all reasoning he should be angry, which yes, he was angry that he’d gone through his things and invaded his privacy, but he was relieved by not having to come out to his current roommate. 

“I thought that we established when I saved your life that I wasn’t going to hurt you.”

“I’m sorry, but ever since the incident with Gordon I like to be sure of my allies and my friends.” 

Despite himself Ed smiled hearing Oswald refer to him as a friend. Despite the light bickering between them he could see that Oswald was at ease. He was happy that he wasn’t questioning the exact cause of his passing out and he felt grateful that his other self hadn’t gotten the chance to take control of his body and cause him to bring harm to his new found friend, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle losing somebody who seemed to accept his nerdiness and his murderous side.


	4. Just a One Time Visit

He had visited Oswald in Arkham asylum just one time. It had been a risk visiting him, he suspected that Gordon knew about the planned visit, but he kept it to himself. After all he was partially responsible for Oswald being sent there to begin with, Ed didn’t judge Oswald’s decision to plead insanity, Blackgate would have destroyed him, at least in the worst run asylum in the state he had a slight chance. That was what Ed had naively believed.

When he had visited him, he’d been different. His look was similar to how he’d looked when he had found him in the woods those months ago, hair greasy and disheveled, skin waxy and pale, and the striped uniform that he wore seemed to hang off his frame. There were other more disturbing differences though, Ed noticed the way he flinched when the guards closed the metal door behind him, he kept his head bowed and eyes locked on the floor as he shuffled towards the metal table. Ed seated himself and watched as cautiously Oswald sat across from him, every movement held heavy caution as if one wrong move and he would be shocked. 

“You look terrible.” Ed commented, tone flat and factual as he took in his friend’s appearance.

Oswald looked up at that, Ed waited to be reprimanded for being so blatantly rude, or at least for him to laugh, but instead he just stared. His eyes were blood shot and glassy, rimmed red and slightly swollen from crying.

“It’s Hell in here, actual Hell.” He responded, voice hushed as he shot a nervous glance back at the still closed doors.

Ed wasn’t surprised, he’d heard Ms. Thompkins talk about her time working in Arkham, but he also knew she had left awhile before Dr. Strange came into Gotham taking over the asylum.

“What have they been doing to you?” 

Another nervous glance back at the door, he leaned over the table as if he were about to divulge in some ancient secret about the afterlife, Ed felt an ominous sort of dread in the pit of his stomach as he leaned in close enough to feel the warmth of his friend’s breaths against his face. 

“Torture…Th-they, they have this machine and these drugs. They sedate me and they give me something else, something about a man named Crane, and….It hurts, what that machine does to my head it makes me feel like my brain is burning.” He rambled on, voice frantic and scared. Ed flinched when Oswald took hold of his hands, dirty chewed down nails biting against his skin. The look of sheer panic on his friend’s face scared him. If he thought he could take him and get out without them being apprehended or shot on sight then he would have helped him escape, would have saved him.

“Oswald I, I’m sorry.”

He realized it was a flat way to respond to the situation, but he knew nothing else. He couldn’t break him out, he couldn’t get him transferred. If he tried to approach Barnes or Gordon with what was going on they wouldn’t care, as far as they were concerned Oswald was a roach, not even a human being. Ed wasn’t entirely sure how they could look at him and feel that way.

“I-I don’t think I’m going to survive this.” He said finally as he settled back against his seat, he managed to regain what little composure he still had, back straightening slightly. “Sometimes I think about just pissing off one of the oversized apes in here enough that they’ll snap my neck, put me out of this misery.”

“I can try and find a way to get you out early, maybe I can find something legally to use against Strange, find a way to get you ou-“

“They’ll send me out of state or put me in Black Gate, if I’m completely honest I don’t want either of those things.” A small sad smile pulled at the corners of his lips. “I deserve this anyways, the things that happened, my mom dying, it was because of me.” 

That look returned, that sort of glassy far off look that sent a chill down Ed’s spine. It was that look that kept Ed from visiting him again while he was in that dreadful place. He hadn’t been able to look at him and see that fear, watch him be destroyed piece by piece. He’d hated himself as he’d left, he tried to think of his plans and his own crime spree as he drove back to his apartment, but he couldn’t shake the image of his friend from his mind.


	5. Is a Gift Just a Gift?

Ed deeply regretted turning Oswald away when he had come looking for a place to stay or at least to speak to an old friend. He regretted allowing his other self to convince him that Oswald had told Gordon about all the killings, he had no clue why he’d ever started putting his faith in that mocking jerk in the mirror. If he hadn’t listened to him, if he’d just remained calm and level headed then he never would have gotten found. Gordon never would have found out about what he’d done, the things he still so badly had wanted to do. Ed sighed heavily, he tugged at the sleeves of his tunic despising how cheap the material of his Arkham uniform felt. He laid back on the mattress, it wreaked of mold, everything in his new room smelled damp and of decay. Ever since Strange disappeared and he’d been put into a more secure room he found things to be boring. He hated himself for thinking that the mad man actually appreciated his intellect, that he would have allowed him to leave this Hell hole, he was even dumber for thinking Gordon would just let him go. 

The longer he was stuck in Arkham the more he realized it might become his permanent place of residence. As new doctors began to come and go, policies shifted, he noted more violent inmates were being let out less and less which he was beyond grateful for. He’d found himself not too fond of the more animalistic men in the building who had a fondness for cannibalism. Yet he found himself bored, missing the fun of discovering secret rooms full of horrifying experiments that still haunted his dreams. With Strange gone the GCPD had little to no reason to snoop around, meaning no Gordon for him to tease and mock from behind a wall of metal bars, instead he was subjected to dull group therapy sessions, and one on one sessions. He cringed as he thought back at the one time they attempted electro-shock therapy on him, a treatment they swore would help with what they claimed to be his dissociative disorder. The session had only left him with a throbbing pain in his skull and back pains for the days that followed, it hadn’t been done ever since, for that he was grateful. It was just the dull days that passed him by, he’d long ago stopped really keeping track of the time, it didn’t seem like it mattered anymore.

A loud banging against the door to his room startled him causing him to jump up out of his bed, back pressed against the wall, a reaction ingrained into him from the time when Strange had been running the show. A member of the staff opened the door, the man looked to be around Ed’s own age, obviously bored, and not fond of his job, not that Ed could blame him. The man held a box in his hand, wordlessly he dropped it on the foot of the bed. 

“Package for you.” He announced before turning and leaving, closing and locking the door behind him. 

Ed stood still for a moment, eyes darting from the door to the black box that sat on the bed. He pushed away from the wall and settled himself on the bed, carefully he removed the lid setting it to the side. He picked up the object inside holding it up to get a better view of it under the dim lighting of the room. He furrowed his brow in confusion as he looked at the dark green sweater he held in his hands, he rubbed his thumbs over the material admiring how soft and rather expensive it felt. He gently sat it to the side, he noticed the white card in the bottom of the box picking it up next.

‘I hope it fits, I know how cold those rooms can be.  
-Oswald’

He felt his confusion growing as he re-read the card. He didn’t understand exactly why Oswald would send him anything, especially something like this. He wondered if there was a reason behind it, perhaps he was angry, perhaps he wanted a favor in return. After all Ed had assumed him a traitor, turned him away at a time he had obviously needed him the most, he’d been a terrible friend to him.

He dropped the card into the box again, he went for the sweater pulling it on over his head. Despite his confusion at receiving the gift he still found himself smiling fondly as he curled up with his back against the wall, he wrapped his arms around himself feeling that familiar embarrassment as he realized he could smell the faint hint of Oswald’s cologne on the garment. He’d realize even now he still harbored some sort of feelings towards him, feelings he wasn’t sure he should have. He knew Oswald wasn’t the type of person to take interest in romance and Ed was perfectly alright with that, but still he found himself closing his eyes and pondering just what it might be like to have his friend hold him in his arms.


	6. You Can't Be Serious

A deep-seated anxiety settled into the pit of his stomach the day the doctors stopped giving him his hormone treatment. He’d at first thought it was purely a mistake when they delivered him his round of medication, the orderly possibly forgot considering they looked to be a new employee. Ed had asked the woman about it, but she had merely shrugged and informed him that she was just giving him what was on the file. He spent a good portion of his morning after that pacing around his room, uncomfortable, and confused as to why they would possibly stop giving him something they knew that he needed, that other therapists and doctors had approved him for years ago. He didn’t get a chance to find out more about what happened until his first one on one therapy session of the day.

He entered the spacious office, the room always feeling clinical with light touches of false comfort. He gave a glance at the fake potted plant in the corner of the room near the door, superficial and easy to care for. Everything about the room gave him that discomfort that he used to get each time he’d be sent to the school office as a child, always for problems at home, or for supposedly instigating fights. He pondered momentarily if his father would enjoy knowing his one and only child was in a mental institute, he had said countless times he knew their child would end up in the looney bin, Ed supposed he'd been right. 

Ed seated himself, he shifted uncomfortably in the chair, and pulled at the front of his tunic hating the way it touched his chest. He loathed them for taking his binder from him, claiming he didn’t need it while he was in here. 

“Hello Mr. Nygma” His doctor greeted him, the man forcing a kind smile as he looked at the very annoyed young man before him.

“Why didn’t I receive my hormone treatments this morning?”

He rolled his eyes when the doctor looked at him with confusion before flipping open a file before him. He often wondered if the morons running this place assumed he was an idiot like them and every other person in this building, they told him on several occasions that he used his intelligence to cover up his emotions and might possibly not be the genius he proclaimed himself to be. Ed felt they were horribly wrong with that conclusion, just like most of their other conclusions.

“We had to make certain changes due to policy and a limited budget.” The man concluded finally looking up at him.

Ed refrained from yelling, instead he breathed deeply calming himself. “So you can’t afford something simple that I’m in need of, I’ve been on hormone therapy fo-“

The doctor cut him off, looking back to his file. “Yes, it says here you were born Veronica Nashton, you started hormone therapy at 19 years of age, and legally changed your name to Edward Nygma when you were 21.”

Ed glared at him, “I know all of that, now why am I no longer receiving my treatment that I need, but still being forced to take those stupid pills for disorders we both know I don’t have.” He argued, frustration rising.

He loathed the medication they had him on, he didn’t like the pills that left him exhausted, or feeling off. They claimed he needed them due to his habit of hallucinating and for what they claimed to be his schizophrenia, but he didn’t believe them or at least he didn’t want to believe them.

The man sighed, obviously worn down by having to be employed by this place, and more than likely Ed wasn’t the first or last patient to complain about something like this.

“We had to make decisions when they cut our budget, we found that certain treatments were just not worth the expense, and you can live without your shots for a while.” He carefully argued.

Ed leaned forward in his seat, “Of course, so my hormones that in the reality of things cost close to nothing for this Hell hole to afford are too much of an expense, but you have the money to test out electro-shock therapy on me and give several patients lobotomies this week alone? I’ve seen the budget for this place, it is absolute garbage, but most of your funding goes to experimental medication and treatments that are so barbaric they look more so like something I would do to somebody I’m trying to torture to death.” 

The doctor remained quiet, leaning back in his chair obviously uncomfortable with the intense calm rage evident in his patient’s dark brown eyes. 

Ed had hoped that something would come from this, that even in this place as a patient he could have some sort of a hold over the doctors, but instead the man dismissed him. He claimed he wasn’t calm enough to speak to for the day, recommended he stay in his room until it was time for group therapy. 

He felt rather offended as the guard led him back to his room, opening the door and pushing him inside. He stumbled and nearly fell, turning to tell the man he was being rude, but finding the door being slammed shut before the words could even leave his mouth.

“Moron” Ed muttered to himself before settling onto the bed.

The frustration he felt was overwhelming. At least when Hugo Strange had been in charge of this place Ed had felt appreciated, he might not have been receiving any actual treatment, and he might have possibly been a candidate to become a basement experiment like Oswald had nearly become, but at least the mad scientist had understood Ed was a man of intellect. He had understood that he held some degree of value, he’d allowed him to at least have the illusion of control while being locked away in this place. Now it was only himself, surrounded by doped up patients, and a staff that gave up on helping people get better years ago. 

He did his best to not think about his current situation, a habit he’d started getting himself into after the test run of electro-shock therapy. He reached under the bed pulling out the black box, he pulled out his sweater smiling as he looked at it. He did his best to not wear it too often, he was determined to keep the familiar scent of his friend ingrained in the material. He removed his striped tunic tossing it aside, he slipped the sweater on and sighed feeling a sort of contentment. He laid down on the bed closing his eyes, normally he hated for clothing to touch his chest, reminding him that he hadn’t been fortunate enough to afford chest surgery, but this time he didn’t feel that heavy discomfort. If anything, it felt rather nice being touched by the soft fabric, some sort of closeness to a man he hadn’t seen in months. 

He found he missed Oswald deeply, more than he even missed Ms. Kringle, he admittedly felt quite guilty for that. In the past couple of months their communication existed in the form of letters and more occasional gifts, mostly consisting of baked goods that Oswald made for him. Ed still was unsure as to why he was doing such nice things for him, even the letters just updating him on what was happening in the city, and updates on his own life. He didn’t feel he quite deserved the kindness. He remembered Oswald’s first letter, remembered the strong guilt he felt when he’d read over exactly what Oswald had been doing while Ed had been assuming him a traitor. He’d wanted to write a long-winded letter in response apologizing, wanted to tell him he was sorry that his father had been murdered, and that he truly was sorry he’d lost his mother only months before then. He hadn’t found the ability to write it though, he’d just found himself crying, frustrated with himself. If he was going to apologize for his ignorance, then he felt it would be better to do it in person.

He sighed, fingers gently tugging at the sleeve of his top. He thought about Oswald’s latest letter, promising he was going to come and see him, saying that he missed his company. He wondered if that were true, he knew or at least he assumed that when they had been sharing a living space that Oswald had enjoyed his company some of the time at least. He smiled thinking about the arguments, how easily his friend could run through groceries that had been bought not even a week ago. He remembered attempts to comfort him on nights where he couldn’t sleep, nights where the pain of losing his mother was so strong it seemed like it could actually kill him. It was all pain that Ed couldn’t understand, he wanted to understand, but he found himself incapable of offering the support and understanding his friend needed from him. He hoped he could tell him that he was sorry. He did feel a mixture of nervousness and excitement knowing he could see him again, he knew he looked like complete Hell, and looking disheveled and crazy wasn’t exactly what he wanted for their first time seeing each other again. 

He curled up on his side, arm wrapped around himself. He found his mind wandering away from his earlier annoyances and anxieties, now more focused on his friend, thinking back to the last time he’d seen him at his apartment. He recalled how ridiculous he’d looked in clothes he’d long ago borrowed from Ed, covered in tar and feathers from his attempt to apologize to Butch and Tabitha despite the fact they far from deserved an apology. He’d looked so dumbly happy, he’d hated himself for treating him like a stranger or like he was something infectious, a paranoid fear that if he allowed him to stay then he too would become complacently happy and void of real thought. He supposed there was the bright side that he hadn’t left him to wander the streets alone, that Oswald ended up meeting his father, and finding a home. Still he did feel guilty.

He supposed he would for a while, at least until he could reason as to why he shouldn’t feel guilt, or at least until he could make it up in some way. He smiled thinking that perhaps if he ever got out of this place he could take him out for a nice dinner, just the two of them, and maybe he’d realize how genuinely he did care for him.


	7. Two Pieces Make One

The day that Oswald came to visit him in Arkham he found himself feeling ridiculously nervous. He’d spent his morning before the visit just pacing around in his small damp room, he kept attempting to straighten his hair with his fingers alone, groaning in frustration each time the curls returned. Continuously he tugged at his striped uniform tunic, despite how baggy it was on him he worried it revealed his chest far more than he would like it too. Finally, when the guards did arrive to take him to the visitors’ room he felt his anxiety plateau. He walked through the hall thinking over every bad thing that could happen, he had the ridiculous worry that Oswald was angry at him, worried that he was only showing kindness because he expected something from him. He knew by the letters and gifts alone that that was far from the truth, he knew that each gesture was genuine kindness, kindness he didn’t feel he deserved to be shown.

When he entered the room, he spotted Oswald sitting at one of the metal tables. Per usual the man was dressed to the nines, his suit looked rich and impeccable, hair styled as if he’d spent a good hour or so on it that morning, and black eyeliner accentuated his brilliant green eyes that had the tendency to make Ed feel a way he probably shouldn’t. The moment Oswald spotted him he seemed to perk up, sitting straighter than he had before, head raised, and a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. There was an adoring light in his eyes and Ed honestly felt his heart skip a beat as he grew closer to the table. Slowly he took a seat across from him, he suddenly felt a million times more under dressed and dirtier than he had just a minute ago. He knew he looked terrible compared to the man seated across from him.

“Hello, Mr. Pen-“

“Oswald, please. I lived in your apartment for so long, you don’t have to be so formal.” He corrected, tone gentle.

Ed nodded, he did his best to refrain from apologizing. 

“Of course, how have you been?” He asked, he hated how nervous his tone was. He felt nervous and he sounded nervous, he hated feeling this way around a man he considered a friend.

“I’ve been doing okay for the most part, things have been rather difficult after my father dying of course.” He paused giving a short sad laugh. “I didn’t expect to lose two parents in a single year, especially not like that.” He said, tone sad as he averted his gaze.

Ed felt the urge to reach out and take hold of his hand, felt the need to apologize to him, and offer to do something to help him. Yet he kept his hands to himself, he remained quiet nervously chewing the inside of his mouth, because he didn’t trust the words would come out correctly. After a long moment of silence Oswald’s smile returned as he turned his attention back to Ed.

“Anyways, how have you been?”

“I’ve been…Truthfully not entirely great. This place is an absolute Hell hole ever since Strange ran away, the people working here are complete morons who don’t seem to know what they’re doing.” He gave a glance back towards the door behind him noticing the guards were both conversing with each other, neither really caring about the possibility Ed could escape if he wanted. “I feel like I’m suffocating being in here and then they took my binder and my hormones, claiming I don’t need my binder for actual medical purposes and saying that my treatments cost them more than they can afford.”

Oswald furrowed his brow, he looked irritated by what Ed disclosed to him. He saw the way his friend glared in the direction of the oblivious guards before looking back to him.

“When did this happen?”

“Not long ago, but long enough that it feels like an eternity.”

He tensed when Oswald reached out placing a hand on his shoulder, he didn’t mean to tense, but it was force of habit. Unfortunately for him the reassuring touch left the moment his friend felt him tense.

“I’ll make sure you get your binder and your treatment back, they have no right treating you this way.”

“Are, are you sure? You don’t have to do anything for me, you’ve already been so kind, and after-“

“You’re my dearest friend, frankly my only friend really. I would count Barbara or Butch, but she’s a bit flaky and well, Butch is Butch. I want you to feel as comfortable as you possibly can, I know this place is Hell, and it drives sane men like us insane. You’re strong though, I want to help you stay strong in here.” 

Ed smiled softly, he found himself averting his gaze again. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose as he continued to wonder how he deserved to have him as a friend.

“Thank you, truly I appreciate your assistance. When I get out of here someday I do want to do something to pay you back.” He looked back up at him, he felt that rising anxiety as he met his eyes again. “I-I was thinking, I really don’t know when I’ll get out of here, but when it does happen maybe I can….I could take you out for dinner.” He could feel his heart pounding in his chest once the offer was finally out.

Oswald smiled, that genuine sort of a smile that made him look far from being the type of man who could take so many lives without issue. “It’s a date.” He said, tone playful.

Ed let out a laugh, “Great, I, I promise I’ll look much better when I’m out of here.” He added as he tugged at his tunic.

The other man chuckled, “I always hated the uniforms in here, they’re quite cliché. I’ll be sure to get you something much more fitting and comfortable for you once you’re out. Who knows, that might be sooner than later.” 

Ed looked at him confused by that added statement, Oswald just smiled knowingly at him, and Ed wondered what he was planning. If he planned on breaking him out then he was more than up for that, he knew it was risky, and it risked mostly getting Oswald into trouble with the law again, but frankly he knew they’d be alright. He’d learned from Oswald’s letters that things were looking up for him again even if he’d had to suffer to return to his point of reigning over the city. 

The remainder of their visit was casual and pleasant. Ed found himself jealous and not so fond of it when Oswald explained to him about Butch moving into his mansion with him, for the life of him he didn’t understand why Oswald wanted him around and he didn’t know why Butch kept willingly returning. In a sense it stung hearing him say that he’d relied mostly on Barbara and Butch in the weeks after his father had died, he missed being the one that he came to with problems like those or any problems at all. He knew that being in Arkham was keeping him from that close knit circle, a circle that used to only hold the both of them. 

Everything else discussed was mundane enough that he could nearly pretend they were back in his apartment talking over cheap red wine. He found himself loving each smile and every time he’d laugh at something he would say, he loved the excitement in his eyes when he relayed pieces of gossip about people they knew. There was something about Oswald when he was excited about things just like there was something about him when he was boiling with rage, his emotions came on strongly and were forever changing rather rapidly. Sometimes Ed felt like he was a kaleidoscope, forever changing, and sometimes his feelings blurring together, but all in all it was something incredibly fascinating to him. 

Once it was time for him to leave and for Ed to return to his cell he felt his anxiety returning. He hated having to say goodbye to him, hated not knowing exactly when he’d see him or hear from him again. As they stood facing each other he noted the slight awkward silence that suddenly fell between them. 

“It was nice being able to see you again, Oswald.” 

“Yes, it was nice seeing you too. I promise I’ll come by again soon, I shouldn’t have even waited this long, I’ve just been so busy.”

“It’s okay, you don’t have to apologize. Everything was hectic there for awhile and with what happened with your dad, you don’t have to explain anything. I’m just glad that we got to finally see each other again.” 

Oswald looked up at him, he looked at him as if a moment of clarity had just occurred for him. A moment later and he was hugging him, initially Ed tensed taken off guard by the sudden show of affection, but a second later he was returning the embrace. He sighed hiding his face against his shoulder, eyes closing as he smelled his cologne, the slight lingering hint of vanilla that he found himself adoring. He could feel his friend’s hand rubbing his back before patting him and pulling away, he felt empty when Oswald broke away from the hug.

“I’ll be sure to write you again before I visit, take care of yourself.”

“I’ll do my best. Bye, Oswald.” 

He stood and watched as his friend walked out of the room, lead out by a guard. Seeing him leave was strangely painful, knowing he couldn’t follow him and be a part of the life he was currently living hurt like Hell. Still he could feel the warmth where he’d been holding him just a minute ago, could still smell his scent, and practically had his laugh memorized. He felt light and sad all at once as the guards lead him back to his room. 

As he lay on his uncomfortable twin sized mattress in his damp room he tried his best to picture his old apartment, tried to imagine himself in his old bed and holding Oswald in his arms. He wondered what would have happened if he’d said or done something then, he didn’t know if it would have caused more heart ache or perhaps prevented several bad things from occurring. He sighed reminding himself that relying on the what if did nothing for his current path in life. He now just needed to focus on the possibility that his dear friend might actually find a way to break him out of Arkham.


	8. Legally Sane

To say that Ed had been confused when several members of the staff entered his room and told him to gather his things, because he was going home, would be an understatement. Initially he’d just sat on his bed, lowered his book and observed them as if they were morons (which they were as far as he was concerned) and then eventually he’d asked if they were joking. After being assured three times that this was in no way a joke he’d began cautiously gathering what little belongings he had. He was relieved to be able to remove the ill fitted Arkham uniform and hand it off to an orderly, then changing into the sweater Oswald had sent him and into the slacks he’d been wearing the day he’d been sent to this dump. Dutifully he had followed the hospital director outside, all the while looking around as if checking for the punchline to a very unfunny joke.

As he was lead out the gates, the nervous older man choosing not to follow him after that point he’d begun questioning why he was given a certificate of sanity. It had barely been a week ago that they’d been changing his medications, upping and lowering dosages, taking him off one medication that had made him quite dangerously depressed for a time. Now they were telling him that he was mentally stable, an argument he’d been bringing up since the day in court they deemed him unfit to stand trial. 

It wasn’t until a familiar black car pulled up that the events of the night and the past couple of weeks began clicking in place for him. He turned to face the car, smiling when Oswald leaned out the window to greet him. 

He should have known his friend would find a way to bail him out of the wretched hell hole. He genuinely felt annoyed with himself for starting to believe he deserved to be in Arkham, that perhaps he really was as sick as they claimed he was. He was quite sure that Oswald wouldn’t make it, so he could be released if there truly was something wrong with him. 

Ed felt an overwhelming sense of relief as he got into the car with his friend, he felt like he could breathe again. He was only mildly taken by surprise when Oswald took hold of his hand giving it a gentle squeeze once he was settled next to him in the car. Ed grinned at him, he was already considering all the ways he could try and pay him back for this sudden favor.

“How did you manage this little miracle?” Ed asked curiously.

Oswald smiled, mischief filling his eyes, Ed always knew his friend loved it when somebody took interest in his plans. He turned so he could easier face the other man, Ed noticed he still had a hold on his hand, and realized it felt quite nice.

“I may have pulled a few strings…..I might have also blackmailed and threatened the hospital director if he didn’t let you out early.” 

Ed laughed shaking his head, “I can’t believe you did that, just for me. Does this mean you don’t think I’m crazy?” He asked hopefully.

Oswald stroked his thumb across the back of his hand, “You’re the sanest person that I know. You’d been through a lot, they had no right to just claim you’re insane and throw you in that miserable dump.”

His words and the sincerity in his voice eased a worry in Ed’s mind, he knew in some way that Oswald knew him better than he knew himself, he doubted he would do something like this if he didn’t believe him, believe in him.

“Besides you’re the only person of any intelligence that I know, and I could use that right now. Butch and Barbara are great, but they aren’t you.” He said letting go of Ed’s hand, he patted his knee, and Ed felt ridiculously pleased and hopeful at his words.

“Just my intelligence or is there more?” He inquired almost worried the answer wouldn’t be what he was hoping for, he wasn’t entirely sure what he was hoping for.

“You’re my dearest friend….My only friend actually, the others don’t know me the way that you do, and I prefer it that way. There’s something very special about us, the bond between us. I feel that after everything you’ve just gone through and how kind you were to me before, I most certainly owe you some form of kindness.”

Ed smiled softly at that, he’d never understand why he felt he owed him anything, but he wouldn’t turn down the show of kindness. The last thing he wanted to do was to be rude to the one friend he did manage to have in the world, the only one who seemed to be willing to go to quite great lengths just for him. 

The rest of the ride was in relative silence, broken only by the sounds of the city passing them by then eventually fading into a more still silence. Once in awhile Ed would bring up something he remembered or recall something dreadful or irritating that had happened in Arkham, conversations that Oswald took an interest in, and understood. There was something about Oswald understanding, about them sharing a terrible experience they could bond over.

As they pulled up to the mansion Ed was quite amazed by the size of the place, there was something by passing appearance familiar about the place. One thing he’d always learned growing up was that in the city and on the edges of the city, people often talked and made up their stories. Ed felt in a looking through the glass sense he knew a lot about Gotham, he knew just the slightest bit about the Van Dahl family, their past more than anything. He’d heard about the sickly depressed son whose parents tended to be on the overly protective side, everybody talking about how they were only that way for financial reasons and not from a genuine sense of caring about their only child’s well-being.

Anything else Ed hadn’t paid too much mind to, rumors of the son killing his mother, drugging her out of spite. Rumors, he knew surely that Oswald knew the truth to most to all those stories, but he also reminded himself it would be rude to try and ask about such matters. He never would have guessed the rumor that the son had a child somewhere were true though.

When the driver parked the car, Ed felt that sense of not knowing exactly how to act, it felt alien realizing he wouldn’t see his old apartment again, surely now rented out to a new tenant who might not be a murderer. He wondered as they got out of the car and walked up to the front door if perhaps Oswald already knew ways he could repay him for this, for everything. 

Oswald opened the large door holding it open for him, Ed gave a small smile as he walked past him and into the main hall. There really was something empty about the mansion, Ed knew it had little to do with size, his own childhood home had been quite small and yet always felt empty and haunted by horrible emotions and memories. He smiled sadly as he looked around realizing this was something similar and he was more than sure that Oswald was well aware of that sense of loneliness that filled the building.

“It’s quite stunning” Ed commented turning to face his friend.

Oswald smiled as he stepped up to him. “It is, isn’t it? I’ve managed to dispose of Grace and her brood’s belongings, no real reminder of them at this point.” He commented momentarily averting his eyes.

Ed knew a minimal amount about what happened to Oswald’s step-mother and step-siblings, he felt there was a purpose to Oswald only disclosing he’d killed them and withheld a majority of other details. His curiosity and need to know made him want to press for more details, but when it came to Oswald’s parents, he knew to not push him on that topic.

“There’s several bedrooms, you can sleep in whichever one you’re the most comfortable with. Perhaps in the morning I could give you a tour of the house, just so you can be familiar with where things are.” Oswald continued, voice soft as he stared up at the other man.

“So you want me to stay here?”

“I was hoping that you would, of course you don’t have to stay with me. I can put you up in a hotel room, at least until you find a place to live and I don’t mind paying for you a new apartment, certainly a better one in a nicer neighborhood-“

Ed placed a hand on his shoulder, Oswald immediately ceased talking.

“You don’t have to do any of that, I’m okay with staying here. I just didn’t expect that you’d want me sharing your home with you, that’s all.” He gently assured.

“Oh, right. No, I do want you here with me. It gets lonely here and you’re the only company outside of my parents that I’ve actually enjoyed long term.”

He smiled, he could see this hopefulness in his friend’s eyes and curiosity begged him to ask why he looked so hopeful and almost loving as he stared up at him. It was a look that Ed was not accustomed to, at least not until they had started to become friends, all others in his life just looked at him or looked through him, never Oswald though.

After a rather short tour of the more essential parts of the manor, Ed settled on the bedroom closest to the master bedroom. Oswald felt it would be easier if their rooms were close together and Ed had no arguments on that case. He momentarily thought of the times he would dare to share a bed with Oswald, a more than safe and appropriate space kept between them. It was mostly for those times where Ed’s back would be killing him, and Oswald was in too much pain from his leg and hip to really get himself out of bed. Ed realized quickly he’d missed those times and, in a sense, he was getting them back again.

The bedroom was spacious, expensive, and quite nicer than anything Ed had been in before. He felt everything about Oswald’s new place of residence suited him perfectly, it was the sort of aesthetic his friend lived to have. 

Laid out on the bed Ed found his old Zelda t-shirt along with a pair of checkered sleep pants he used to wear far too often, holes worn into the knees of the thinning fabric. He stared down at them in confusion then turned to look at Oswald.

“How did you get these?”

Oswald shrugged, “I had Butch go through and try to collect as many of your old things as he could find. I know you had some clothes that I personally can’t say I’m a fan of, but that I know you like. I also went ahead and purchased you some newer clothing that’s in the closet and a few more things in that dresser over there that I figure you needed.” He paused for a moment, “I did go ahead and purchase you a couple new chest binders, I wasn’t entirely certain on size or what style you prefer, but I’d noticed the one you have seemed rather old.” 

Ed made his way over to the dresser, he opened the top drawer and pulled out a black binder, next to it was another one that seemed more casual. He smiled when he noticed the print of the thing, black with a few green question marks printed along its surface. He placed them back into the drawer, carefully shut it, and went back over to where Oswald stood. He wrapped his arms around him hugging him tightly, Oswald froze for a second before returning the hug, burying his face against his chest.

“Thank you, all of this is much more than I deserve. I don’t know what to say or how to thank you for this.”

Oswald patted his back before pulling away from him. “You deserve these things, Ed, and I once again have the means to do things. I want to do things for you. I figure tomorrow you can pay me back by taking me to dinner like you mentioned before when I visited you and we can discuss some of my plans.”

Ed nodded, he liked knowing he still remembered he’d asked him to dinner, he liked knowing it was something he still was wanting to do. He did find himself curious as to what he wanted to discuss, he was certain that whatever his friend was planning he wanted his assistance in it, and he was more than happy to provide that for him. He wanted him to see his worth, that he could be valuable to him, more than he had been in the past. For now, he wasn’t going to think too deeply about it.


	9. Devious Plans and Dinner Dates

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am terribly sorry for not updating this story in such a long time. I will most definitely try to be more frequent with updates on this as well as other stories of mine.

The restaurant agreed upon was one of the finest, one that Ed normally wouldn’t have been able to get into unless he’d robbed a bank or two, but with Oswald’s newfound wealth they were treated like kings. The two reserved a table towards the back, near the large windows and away from the pointless chatter of their fellow patrons. Oswald had ordered the salmon while Ed had ordered a steak for himself, Ed hadn’t been able to stop himself from smiling when his dear friend had ordered a bottle of Domaine de la Romanee-Conti Montrachet, all of course in the name of celebrating their friendship and their hopeful partnership.

The atmosphere between them was relaxed, if one took away the upper class setting then it would feel like the old days of sitting in the apartment chatting over Chinese takeout and cheap red wine being drunk out of coffee mugs. Days he found himself missing, but as he sipped expensive wine and surveyed their new surroundings he realized he could become more than accustomed to this new way of life.

“Do you see that couple over there?” Oswald asked gesturing towards a table a good few feet away from theirs.

Ed looked towards said direction, he spotted a well-dressed man possibly somewhere in his late 70s, at his side was a woman who had to be young enough to be his granddaughter. He noted the diamond necklace, ruby earrings, and the way she laughed too hard at whatever the old man just said. He hummed in acknowledgment before turning back to Oswald noticing the devious light in bright green eyes.

“Gold digger with her next victim.” Ed off-handedly commented before taking another sip of his wine.

Oswald laughed, he gave another glance towards the couple before turning his focus on Ed once more. He watched as his friend picked at his meal as if being selective about his next bite.

“He happens to be a bit important to me at the moment, charitable old man with his hands in a lot of pockets. His name is Spencer Reed, the girl I believe is named Debbie, but that isn’t important.” He informed before taking a bite.

Ed waited for the reason why such an old man would have any use unless of course his friend wanted to rob him. When no explanation was given he decided to inquire further.

“What is his importance?”

Oswald smiled deviously, “Him like a lot of people here are in a sort of way part of my plan, my plan that I need your help in.”

“Robbing the rich?” Ed asked, a slightly hopeful tone to his voice.

His friend laughed shaking his head, “No, not quite. I, my friend am planning on running for mayor of this fine thief filled city.” 

Ed looked at him for a moment before laughing. “Seriously?” 

“Very serious, what’s so funny about it?” He asked momentarily glaring at him.

“Sorry for laughing, you just caught me a bit off guard with that news. If I might ask, why?” 

Oswald visibly relaxed, his former annoyance fading. “Why not? Aubrey James is a useless tool, I already run this city a million times better than he ever has. He doesn’t see the great financial possibilities in running this city, I overthrew the biggest mobsters within a year, what has he done other than be kidnapped and humiliated?”

Ed nodded in agreement, he pondered why he couldn’t just be satisfied with running the city on a criminal level alone. Everyone knew that as a criminal outside of politics that one had full free reign, but while in a position of political power of any level one would have to be much more careful. Still there was a light in his eyes, Ed wasn’t sure if it was mischief or some other deeper meaning to all this.

“You do have a point, but doesn’t running this charming little piece of Hell mean you can’t go about your usual business?”

“Not exactly, we both know mayor James has been nothing but deceitful for years now. He’s had hidden dealings with everybody from Falcone to Maroni, he’s a rat and the people seem to be tiring of him. That is why I’ve decided to step in, proclaim myself as a sort of hero for everybody. I can make Strange’s monsters disappear into thin air, give people a false sense of safety….I can also possibly make some positive changes.” He explained, voice softening as he looked down.

Ed began to get it a bit more. He now wondered how much of this had to do with the passing of his parents, of the guilt that he could have prevented not only his mother’s death, but his father’s as well. He had the slightest urge to take hold of his hand and assure him that their deaths were not his fault, but he wasn’t sure if this was the time or place for that.

“Now, where do I come in with your plans?” Ed asked curiously.

“I need eyes and ears around me and around the city, I have Butch and other half wits working under me, but…..They don’t have your intellect, I know what you could be like at your full potential, and I believe we could get quite far together. I was hoping you could assist me both in the legal aspects of this as well as the illegal, I know without a doubt I’ll become mayor.”

“You’re very confident.”

He knew without asking further that he was bribing and blackmailing people in higher positions to align themselves with him, a part of him approved while another part wasn’t sure why he so strongly and immediately doubted himself. He presumed that after the dealings with Galavan that he still hadn’t found his footing again, a cloud of doubt constantly hanging over his head.

“I have to be, if I’m not then people will believe me to be weak. I assume that I can count on you helping me, I of course intend to pay you for all of this and assist you in any way possible.” He paused smiling to himself. “I know you were enjoying your game of riddles with our friends at the GCPD.”

Ed smiled, he really had enjoyed his time framing Gordon. He’d had so many plans then, ways to torture and torment a city that had undermined him and hadn’t seen his absolute brilliance. He frowned thinking about Gordon, how he’d caught him and made him look like a fool. “I miss it, I had great plans you know.” He mused sounding nearly forlorn at the memories of blueprints and his notebook of ideas and concepts.

He was a bit surprised when Oswald reached across the table to take hold of his hand.

“I can help you with that, perhaps not right now, but once I’m mayor of course. This city can be your playground, you can even kill Barnes and Gordon.”

He grinned at that, “Almost like an early birthday present then.” He joked. He felt thrilled thinking about the future, perhaps his dreams of Riddler weren’t dead, and really were seated just over the horizon. 

He found himself idly stroking his index finger over the surface of the emerald nestled in the gold band of the ring his friend wore. A ring he knew he hadn’t owned before, he knew without asking it probably had belonged to his father. 

“I hope to get you something even better for your actual birthday, I feel terrible for having to ask, but when is your birthday?”

“It’s on April Fool’s Day.” He laughed, “My birth was a wonderfully terrible joke both on my parents and myself.” 

He thought over all the birthdays that had never been celebrated, years where he was left at home alone or dragged along to bars with his parents, so they could drink and ignore their only child. He’d come to loathe then just ignore his birthday.

“Your parents were idiots not to appreciate you, you’re a wonderfully brilliant and handsome man.” 

Ed looked up at him a bit taken aback by the genuine sincerity to his words. No matter how many times his friend complimented him he found himself just the slightest bit confused and amazed.

“Oswald, I-you’re very kind to say that.” He mentally kicked himself for his pathetic response, the words he wanted to say drying up and dying in his throat. Still he felt the aching in his chest to just say it, to tell him what he felt, what he had been feeling.

Oswald smiled at him, a sweet sort of smile that made him wish he was brave enough to lean across the table and kiss him, but he knew himself. He knew he wouldn’t do that especially not somewhere so public where prying eyes could see and judge, if he was rejected then he wanted it to be in the privacy of their now shared home, but even then, he wasn’t sure he could handle it. 

He promised himself he’d tell him, just not yet.

After dinner they returned to the mansion, still the atmosphere between them remained relaxed and familiar. Ed wondered if he could sense that, if perhaps he wasn't the only one taking comfort in this safe feeling. 

Initially he'd planned on retiring to his bedroom for the night until Oswald asked him to join him in the sitting room for a couple of drinks, just some whiskey. His friends idea of nothing too heavy, while Ed still felt a little over tipsy from the three glasses of wine he'd had at dinner. He wasn't quite sure if he should be concerned or amazed at his dear friend's ability to consume copious amounts of alcohol without being too overly intoxicated. Still Ed hated to refuse any chance to be in his friend's company. 

They sat together in a comfortable silence, Ed stealing the occasional glance in Oswald's direction watching him as he drank. He found himself bolder in his staring, noticing the dusting of freckles over the bumped bridge of his nose, the tint of pink on his cheeks from his night of drinking. His fingers itched to reach out and touch him, just to feel the warm softness of his skin, to show that he wasn't alone. He pushed the urges down by focusing on his own drink, downing it quickly before refilling his own glass then refilling Oswald's.

"Are you still on the medication they gave you in Arkham?" Oswald asked suddenly.

"No, the pills made me feel rather low to put it lightly. What exactly did they do to you while you were there?" 

He knew some, he knew more than he would like about the experiments that Hugo Strange had performed. He still felt haunted by the memories from the basement, the mangled bodies that still twitched with life, skin melting from faces. The stench of chemicals and death that had permeated the air gagging him, even now he could still smell it. He knew Oswald had endured some shallow form of those tortures, medications, and mind games that had left him nothing more than a shell of the man Ed had come to know and love, or perhaps it had left him to be the man he could have been if life had been more loving and far less cruel.

Oswald remained quiet for several seconds, his silence worried Ed that he might have asked the wrong sort of question.

"The other inmates drove me crazy before Strange did. Being in that Hell hole, the constant screams during the night. I couldn't even hold my own in fights in that place, I'd try, but once you get five or six raging lunatics piled on top of you it's quite hard to get a good hit or bite in." He paused, another long drink before continuing. "At first the 'treatments' came in the form of shots, early morning or late at night. They left me feeling groggy one moment then anxious the next, I felt like something was clawing away at my skull. I lost track of time, I started to lose myself. During our private sessions he wore me down.....I don't think I could ever properly explain to you what the contraption he put on my head was, but it made me wish for death." 

Ed saw the sadness in his eyes, tears threatening to fall as he sniffled and looked away as if ashamed of his trauma. He felt bad for inquiring, but curiosity was a Hell of a curse.

"I'm sorry, you didn't deserve to suffer like that, and I can't ever express how terribly sorry I am that I turned you away when you were released. I suppose it worked out for you in the end, but we're friends and I should have been somebody you could rely on."

He watched as Oswald set his glass to the wide, he angrily rubbed at his eyes ridding himself of tears before turning his attention back to Ed. "You apologize so much for what happened that day, I'm not used to seeing you so sorry over something."

That was what made love a crazy thing.

"We're friends, what I did was impolite and cruel. I still want to make it up to you."

Oswald stared at him, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Ed was surprised when his friend reached out placing a hand against his cheek, fingers brushing against his skin. He closed his eyes letting out a shaky breath as he focused on his gentle touch.

"You're more than forgiven, but I don't mind you being so lovely and kind to me." 

Ed smiled at his words, he felt that longing warm fuzzy feeling, a feeling he associated only with Oswald. He doubted that anybody else could really make him feel the way he did, even with Kristen he hadn't felt this. He'd loved her or thought that he had, he'd so badly waned to be who and what she wanted him to be, and knew that if he didn't continue being the type of man she wanted that he'd lose her. A part of him worried if he had no use to Oswald then he could lose him, an anxiety that left his stomach in knots.

He felt a sense of disappointment when Oswald stopped touching his cheek, he opened his eyes looking towards him again. 

"I'm going to continue being useful to you and anything you want to talk to me about I'm always here for you." 

His friend looked at him for a moment before hugging him, Ed hugged him back hiding his face against the side of his neck breathing in the now familiar scent of expensive cologne tinted with the scent of over prized alcohol. His body felt warm and firm against him. He hoped that perhaps there was a distinct possibility that his friend could love him back.

Later that night as he lay in his bed he thought over Oswald's plans to take the title of mayor. Initially he'd been skeptical, maybe even doubtful of how successful this could be. Yet there was a strong determination in his friend's eyes, a passion that he couldn't help but admire and adore, the type of passion he'd seen before and found he'd sorely missed. He knew that one way or another Oswald would claim not only his throne as king of the Underworld but also mayor of the city, Ed himself was happy to help him achieve both of these goals. He smiled to himself as he thought about ruling the city by his side, already he found himself thinking over the art galleries and the jewelry stores he would hit up in the future, items expensive and beautiful he wanted to gift his darling friend with. Only the best for the man he found himself painfully in love with.


	10. Feels A Lot Like Love

Ed had forgotten how intense and dangerous love could be. Almost like a feeling of suffocation, a crushing weight wrapping around your throat until your vision blurred and the world began fading to black.

Or perhaps that was because Butch Gilzean was currently on top of him, metal hand hooked around his throat literally squeezing the life out of him as he pathetically writhed and choked. He could feel the large man’s rancid hot breath against his face, the world blurring and fading to black as he began drifting fully into an unconscious state. At least Oswald was safe. Perhaps the plan to call Butch out as the lead of the Red hood Gang in front of everybody wasn’t quite a good idea, but it wasn’t like he could just let that mindless gorilla be at Oswald’s side acting as if he cared about him. He only cared about saving his own neck, getting a safe pass for a woman who didn’t even want to date him. While Ed was more than willing to risk his own life for Oswald’s sake, even for such a small slightly miscalculated favor.

As he began accepting death and its terribly cold embrace the weight was lifted. He felt light, free, but still drifting in darkness. Hands were touching him, not large meaty paws or metallic fingers, but soft warm skin that felt familiar. He could smell lilacs and expensive cologne, he could hear Oswald desperately yelling his name, yelling for him to wake up.

Ed startled, he gasped for breath taking in as much oxygen as his sore throat and aching lungs would allow. He coughed, eyes watering, he felt a hand on his cheek and looked up to see Oswald staring down at him. Oswald smiled as he noticed Ed coming to, he couldn’t help but smile back at him. He reached up with a trembling hand placing it against the back of his neck just needing to keep him close, the weight of his body was more than welcome, he nearly craved his warmth. 

He nearly felt ashamed of himself for doubting that his friend would save his life. Oswald had already done so much for him, showed time and time again that he cared about him. Ed dared to feel hopeful about this, about what it could mean for them.


	11. That Scene

As the night wore on his throat felt sorer, when he’d been changing out of his suit and into more relaxed clothing he’d gotten a look at the charming collar of bruises on his throat. He’d wondered if makeup would cover them well enough, he recalled using foundation to cover black eyes and bruises on his arms when he’d been a child. For him the bruises were of annoyance more than anything else, but when Oswald had seen them once they were settled in at home he’d seemed rather upset. Ed knew it was normal that he was upset over the marks, but he found himself still confused as to any form of concern.

He’d been compliant when Oswald had instructed him to just sit while he made him tea, avoided telling him that typically he wasn’t that fond of tea. His friend was doing something nice for him, a show of concern, and he refused to let himself be rude to him. So, he sat waiting patiently, idly tracing his index and middle finger along the marks on his throat, hissing when he pressed just a bit too hard on them. He dropped his hands back to his lap when Oswald reentered the room. He smiled up at him wanting to reassure him in some way that he really was fine, he wanted to ease that tearful look of concern. 

He quietly thanked him, voice rough. He took a sip, smiling politely as Oswald informed him it was a recipe his mother used to use. As they sat in silence he could feel Oswald’s eyes on him, normally being stared at would make him anxious and annoyed, but with him he just felt curious and safe. Curiously he looked over at him, noticed his posture, the way he nervously fidgeted with his hands and had his eyes fixed upon the bruises.

He spoke awkwardly and nervously as he asked if it hurt, quickly suggesting they call a doctor to come and get him checked out. Ed knew he was right, that quite honestly this was the sort of thing that a doctor should look at, but he’d been through worse. Not that he would tell Oswald that, not right now at least. He forced himself to be calm, to be as suave as he could possibly manage as he spoke to him. Found himself explaining to him what he’d been doing, not the part about practically putting the gun in Butch’s hand, but most of everything else. Maybe one day he’d tell his friend the full story, at a time where he’d be less shaken.

Normally for Ed there was a rush of excitement explaining his plans, a near sexual release in showing off his intellect and how brilliantly he executed a scheme. Yet this time he didn’t feel that sensation, he just felt awkward and the slightest bit guilty for worrying somebody he genuinely cared for.

He carefully sat the cup down on the coffee table, fully turning his attention to his friend.

“What I did, I did because I care about you a lot. I believe in you, I know that maybe what I did tonight was stupid in retrospect, but you saved my life. A pleasant and unexpected twist…..Still I’d do it again and again, I’d do anything for you Oswald.” Despite the roughness of his voice his words came across gentle and sweet.

Oswald was silent, eyes glistening with tears, he leaned forward, and Ed felt his heart skip a beat when he could once more feel the warmth of his breath against his skin. The smallest bit of disappointment hit him when what he thought would be a kiss turned into a hug, but happily he held him back. He rest his chin on his shoulder closing his eyes as he felt his friend’s fingers curling against the back of the robe he wore, one that smelled sweet like him. 

As Oswald began to pull back Ed placed a hand against the back of his neck, fingers brushing against his skin, he kept him close to him, face only a mere couple inches from his own. He looked into his eyes, looked at the size of his pupils, his parted lips. He could feel his own heart pounding in his chest as he weighed his options; he could awkwardly end the moment, retire to bed and act as if this hadn’t happened or he could tell him how he felt, could kiss him and pray he felt the same.

“Oswald I-I….I lo-“ The words caught in his aching throat, a different type of choking that left him angry with himself. Yet he refused to just let this go, to risk this being the last chance he could have. 

Ed closed the distance between them, pressing his lips against his friend’s in a gentle kiss. Oswald stilled for a second, Ed’s heart beat faster as he began to feel rising panic that this was the wrong thing to do. Right as he considered pulling away, Oswald placed a hand against his cheek, thumb gently brushing against his flushed skin as he began kissing him back. Ed relaxed into the kiss, all tension leaving him. If he wasn’t so sure that this was real, that he was alive, then he’d assume that Butch had killed him and this was Heaven.

They broke from the kiss, both staring at each other as if grasping what occurred. “Oswald, I love you.” He managed out, the words heavy and packed full of meaning and promise. Words that from a man like Ed Nygma held so much, an emotion that could so easily be used against him, but he trusted Oswald more than he’d ever trusted another person in his life. He was willing to risk him being the one to hurt him.

Oswald smiled softly, gingerly he traced his index finger along the bruises. “I love you too.” He replied. 

For the first time in his life, Ed believed somebody when they said those words to him.


	12. More Than Friends

The days following their night on the couch it felt like quite little had changed. Initially Ed had worried that perhaps Oswald didn’t share his feelings, that he was changing his mind about the prospect of a romance with him, but then he reminded himself that his friend was rather lacking when it came to romantic experiences. He did his best to keep paranoia and anxiety from running his thoughts, he could easily see in the way that Oswald looked at him that he loved him back, it was just a relationship that would be going at a different pace. He remembered how fast things had moved with Kristen, how he’d wanted to go slow, but she’d only seemed frustrated by that. He’d begun to feel that there was something wrong with him, that it wasn’t normal to want to take time in a relationship. Now he felt he was re-learning all of that.

“You look quite dashing.” Ed commented as he looked over his partner.

Oswald smiled at his compliment. 

Ed found himself always rather fond of the suits his friend wore, his clothes seemed to fit his slim frame rather well, his penchant for black and darker shades complimenting his pale freckled skin. Ed placed a hand on his shoulder giving a gentle squeeze, he smiled as he looked at Oswald’s reflection, he noted that Oswald wasn’t even looking at himself in the mirror but looking at him instead.

“Thank you, I feel like I should look my best for the Founder’s dinner, I already expect people have their expectations of me made up.” He said frowning slightly.

“A crime lord who spent two months in an asylum who is now the mayor, might cause a few whispers.” 

Despite how eagerly a majority of the city voted for Oswald to be the new mayor, the upper class wasn’t entirely pleased. They were elders that were stuck in their ways, still mourning the losses of mobsters and crooked politicians, they feared what changes came with a younger generation moving into their system. 

“Suppose you’re right, I was wondering if perhaps you would like to accompany me tonight.” Oswald offered hopefully.

Ed looked at him smiling softly, “Now would I be going as chief of staff or as your date?” He asked curiously.

Oswald glanced downwards, he nervously toyed with a ruby cufflink. Ed caught on some time ago that he fidgeted with jewelry and accessories when he was nervous.

“I was hoping as my date, if that’s okay with you.” 

Ed pressed a kiss against his forehead, Oswald closed his eyes letting out a relieved sigh. 

“I’d love to be your date; more people will talk of course.” 

Oswald took hold of his hand giving it a gentle squeeze. “I don’t care, I want to share these things with you. If it wasn’t for you then I wouldn’t be here right now doing any of this, I really owe you quite a lot.” 

Ed brought his hand up to his lips pressing a kiss against the ring on his finger, he glanced up at him and smiled as he saw him blushing. 

“Just your trust and your love, that’s all I ask for.” He stated simply.

The security of a partner who trusted him and believed in him was more than enough for Ed.


	13. Dinner and Discussions

The dinner was what Ed would expect of the elite of the city. He was rather proud to see that Oswald managed to fit in amongst them well, despite their tense and stuffy demeanor they hung on every word Penguin had to say. It was moments like those that left him more than impressed with his friend, his partner. 

Of course, there were those who were less than impressed, those who were more so unimpressed by Ed’s presence at the dinner. They saw him as nothing more than a cop killer, the lunatic who had murdered his girlfriend and chopped her into pieces, they didn’t care about his intellect. He did his best to ignore their comments, the moronic things they would whisper to one another. He focused the majority of his attentions on Oswald, dutifully standing by his side, smiling when his partner wrapped an arm around his waist. 

“They actually seem to respect me.” Oswald commented as they stood off to the side surveying the gathering of people.

“Why wouldn’t they, you make them richer, and you keep the city safer than it was a month ago.” Ed mused before taking a sip of champagne. 

“I’m not one of them, my father’s family was, but I’m not exactly what anybody wanted to be part of this crowd.” He said speaking softly as he continued to watch the others as if for this moment he was an outsider again.

“You belong here, you’re better than they are anyways. We run this city, they just temporarily take up space…. Besides if anybody ever offends you or steps out of line, The Riddler is always more than happy to take care of the problem for you.” Ed offered smiling brightly.

Oswald laughed, he placed his hand over his mouth attempting to stifle the sound. Ed gently took hold of his wrist moving his hand away.

“The Riddler, is that the name you’re sticking with?” He asked, fighting the urge to laugh.

“Don’t you like it, I thought it sounded rather perfect.” He mused, he couldn’t help but smile.

“It’s….It’s definitely very you, how do you suppose that name will catch on?” 

Ed shrugged, he looked down at his glass then out the window surveying the property that was shrouded in darkness.

“I’ll make sure they all remember it, even if I have to carve it into somebody’s chest.” He took another drink.

“I rather love when you’re violently creative.” Oswald said smiling softly, he reached out placing a hand against his forearm.

Ed enjoyed the simple shy signs of affection, just the simplicity in each gentle touch as if he were unsure of himself. 

“I’m just glad that I have your support, I promise I won’t let my side work get in the way of course. I want this to benefit the both of us.” He said gesturing between them.

“I trust that it will.” He chuckled, “Riddler and Penguin, ruling Gotham.” He shook his head, a look of amusement on his face as he thought about it.

Ed couldn’t help but think about just how perfect it sounded.

“Ladies and gentleman, dinner is served” 

The two looked over to see one of the waiters standing in the doorway, a man about their own age, his hair shoulder length and curly, something off about him, but it was Gotham after all. Ed pushed the thought away, he took hold of Oswald’s hand and lead him to their seats.


	14. Party Crasher

“Drink the wine or you die”

Oswald tensed as he eyed the gun pointed in his face, he looked down at the glass of red wine. Ed’s focus was on the man holding the gun, his mind worked to think of a way to disengage the situation. He’d heard about Tetch, about his sister and the ability she’d been born with. If under different circumstances or if he still worked forensics then Alice Tetch and her brother who had a knack for hypnosis might peak his curiosity, but in this current predicament he found only fear and rising anger. He looked back towards Oswald watching as he began raising the glass to his lips, hand shaking, Ed took hold of his wrist gripping tightly stopping him. Oswald looked at him, visibly confused.

“Do you trust me?” He asked quietly.

Oswald remained silent as he stared at him, he eventually gave a curt nod. Ed smiled then turned his focus to Tetch.

“He isn’t drinking anything. Hell, you can poison everybody at this table, myself included, but not him.” 

Jervis focused his attentions on Ed, he moved the aim of his gun now pointing it at the man in the deep green suit who stared up at him with a daring nature. He found himself smiling as he looked down at him.

“Is he of importance to you?”

“Yes, he’s very important to me.” 

Ed held eye contact, slowly he felt along the table feeling for something sharp, anything really would work. 

“If he drinks the wine, then you die. I see the monster hiding inside our dear mayor.” Jervis said, voice calm as he looked towards Oswald again.

He took that small window of opportunity as a chance to attack. Ed wrapped his fingers around the handle of a knife, just as Jervis was turning his attention back to him Ed plunged the blade into his forearm. The shock of burning pain causing him to drop the gun to the ground, Ed gritted his teeth as he twisted the blade before pulling it out. In no time he had Jervis backed up against the wall, knife pressed against his throat. 

“If you come near him again I will make sure you join your sister really soon.” 

Jervis smiled as he stared up at him, Ed pressed the blade more firmly against his neck just barely cutting into his skin. 

Ed jumped as a gun shot went off, the sound of a body thudding against the floor behind him. He felt a momentary panic as he lost his focus on Jervis and turned to look behind him, he saw one of Jervis’ men dead on the ground, blood pooling under his head. Oswald loomed over the man, Jervis’ gun in hand.

“Ed look out!”

He turned back to Jervis just as he punched him in the jaw knocking him back a step, he grabbed for the knife. Ed kept a firm grasp on his weapon, his free hand going to grab hold of the man’s throat, fingers pressing against the shallow cut on his throat pressing and digging against it causing Jervis to cry out in pain. Ed took the opportunity to knee him in the stomach, Jervis dropped to the ground groaning in pain. He hauled off kicking him in the chest knocking him onto his back, he tossed the knife to the side turning his attention back to Oswald just as the cops stormed the room armed to the teeth and late per usual. He guided the other man away from the chaos, the two watching as Barnes pummeled Jervis, the lunatic laughing hysterically as he was beaten by the large rage prone cop.

Ed found it curious, Barnes was a bull-headed bastard, but he followed a strict code. Seeing him going off like that was new, he wasn’t known for just beating a perp to a bloody pulp with or without a reason.

He reminded himself to look into it at a later time, for now his focus was on Oswald. 

“Are you okay?” He asked, he held him by his shoulders examining his appearance.

Oswald chuckled, he placed a hand against his chest. “Yes, I’m just fine. Truthfully that ended up being far more entertaining than I’d expected it to be.” 

Ed grinned, “God knows what would have happened if I wasn’t here.”

The other man rolled his eyes, he stepped in closer leaning up to press a kiss against his jaw. 

“If you keep saving my life you’ll be less of a villain and more of a hero.” Oswald teased.

“Just for you, now shall we go home?” 

“Yes, we shall” 

Truthfully, he just wanted away before the cops interrogated them. Despite being clean in image the cops knew them far too well and with Barnes sudden rage issues, Ed didn’t want to spend more time around the police than he had to. Besides the last thing either of them needed was press, right now he just had the urge to have a night for them and them alone, none of the interruptions and gossip of the morons that filled the city.


	15. Late Nights and Romance

There was a sort of natural high that came along with surviving dangerous situations. Ed quite enjoyed it, the sensation that he was floating, that nothing neither god nor law could touch him or stop him from existing and molding himself into something for them to fear. For as long as he’d known Oswald, he had that feeling almost daily. After a night of risking being shot by Jervis Tetch and his lackeys he more than felt that high along with the buzz from the champagne they’d had earlier and what they drank in the limo on the way back home as well.

They entered the mansion, Ed's arm wrapped around Oswald's waist holding him up, both laughing and commenting on the night they’d had. Oswald stepped in front of him throwing his arms around his neck, he leaned up on his tip toes to kiss him, Ed’s hands found their way to his hips, fingers curling against the expensive fabric of his shirt as he held his body close against his own. He was surprised when his partner nipped at his bottom lip before brushing his tongue across it, he pulled back a moment later staring up at him with love filled eyes. Ed rubbed his hand along his side admiring his beauty, admiring just how much love a single person could express without using words.

“Beautiful,” he found himself whispering as he stared down at him.

Oswald laughed stepping away from him. His steps were unbalanced and awkward as he headed towards the other room, Ed dutifully followed behind, he took hold of his arm when he noticed him begin to lose balance.

“Careful, I kept you from getting turned into God knows what and from getting shot, last thing I need is you cracking your skull open.” He joked, he kissed his cheek.

“You’re so good to me, why is that?” Oswald asked curiously as he watched Ed make his way over to the record player.

Ed smiled to himself remembering asking that same thing nearly every time Oswald would come to visit him. He couldn’t understand why he wanted to see him, why he cared about his safety and how he was feeling, but now he was starting to understand.

“That’s a puzzle you’ll have to solve yourself…..You listen to Amy Winehouse?” He inquired, switching the topic of discussion as he held up the album for his partner to see.

Amongst the collection of vinyl records his friend owned he mostly found punk rock music, a few Norwegian black metal bands, and classical music. An odd assortment that clashed, music made by chaos and for chaos mixed with music that took months and years to perfect, and in that mix was something more mainstream. Out of all of it the pop music caught his attention, the Winehouse and Britney Spears albums sticking out like a sore thumb in the sea of Mozart and Motorhead.

“Surprised?” 

Ed shrugged, he removed the record from its sleeve and placed it onto the player. “A bit, considering it doesn’t blend all that well with Mozart or Gorgoroth.” 

He smiled as he watched the needle dance along the vinyl, reading it like one might read brail. The music that emitted filling the room was soulful, sad, and rather beautiful. Ed turned away from the record player and rejoined his partner, he took hold of his hand bringing it up to his lips pressing a kiss against the back of it then against his ring. 

“My parents would have loved you.” Oswald whispered, a soft smile on his face. 

Ed placed a hand against his cheek, thumb brushing against his flushed skin. “I wish I could have met them, I know how much they meant to you. I can’t imagine what a loss like that feels like.”

It was a feeling he knew he’d never know, if his own parents were to die he’d feel relief. He thought for a second that the closest to that pain he could think of would be if somebody ever killed Oswald, an unease settled in his chest just thinking about losing him. He couldn't imagine a life without him, without holding him and kissing him. 

“I miss them, but I have you. Not that I’m saying I’m with you just because I miss my parents or that it’s be-“ 

Ed kissed him cutting off his rambling, “I know, you don’t have to explain yourself.” 

Oswald smiled, “I forgot, you can read me like a book.” He sighed resting his head against Ed’s chest.

He placed a hand against the small of his back, the two of them slowly swaying to the music that filled the room.

“I’ve been curious though, when did you fall in love with me?”

“A few times, but the moment after Butch attacked you when you finally opened your eyes. I knew I couldn’t stand losing you, it just hit me all at once.” 

Ed kissed the top of his head, he wasn’t sure if anybody in his life before had been so happy to see him alive. He smiled thinking about the days of Oswald doting on him, constantly checking the bruises just wanting to make sure they were healing, that there was no internal damage. Despite any pain he’d been in, he’d always assured him he was fine, he’d never wanted to worry him not a single time.

“When did you fall in love with me?” He asked pulling back to look up at him.

“A long time ago, curiosity turned to interest which turned to like which turned to love.” He pressed a kiss against the bridge of his nose, chuckling when he pulled away in response. “You always believed in me, you don’t look at me like there’s something wrong with me.” 

If he had the time he knew he could make a list of the reasons he was in love with him, the reasons he needed and wanted a relationship between them to work. The benefits going from business to personal, he felt like if they parted ways it’d be like a piece of himself was missing. In a sense that scared him, that thought, that realization had been scaring him ever since the day he found him in the woods and took him back home. 

Oswald kissed him slowly pulling him from his thoughts, he returned the kiss sighing as he felt fingers curling in his hair, nails lightly scratching against his scalp making him shiver. 

“If….If it isn’t too forward perhaps you could sleep in my bed with me tonight.” He quietly offered, eyes downcast, and a faint blush coloring his cheeks..

“I’d love to.” 

He wanted to tease him for being such a gentleman, for being so shy and awkward when it was just the two of them alone, but for all purposes he found it sweet. He didn’t feel rushed or like he had to wear a mask, for once he just felt safe and happy in the company of another person.


	16. Mornings and Proposals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a very very long time since I've updated this story and for that I do apologize. I am going to try and continue on and finish this work along with some other ones as well as do more one chapter stories.

Sunlight poured in through the bedroom window, light that along with the feeling of a warm body woke Ed from his sleep. He stretched his legs groaning, he rubbed at his tired eyes adjusting to the light. He looked down at his partner, still sound asleep. He couldn’t help but smile as he looked down at Oswald, took note of the way his fingers were curled against his t-shirt holding onto him, his good leg draped over Ed’s hip as if by all means he didn’t plan of letting this man go through the night. 

Ed brushed his hair away from his forehead, admiring the absolute mess his hair was in the morning. He pressed a kiss against his forehead.

“I love you,” he whispered against his skin.

Even in that moment the words felt nice, he felt a familiar tingling warmth being able to say those words and know without a doubt that his feelings were returned. 

He gently stroked his fingers against his cheek, he kissed the bridge of his nose before starting the process of untangling himself from his boyfriend’s embrace. He quietly got up from bed making his way towards the connected master bathroom, he looked back to see Oswald moving to lay where he’d just been. He smiled shaking his head before heading into the bathroom closing the door behind him.

Once he was through with his normal morning routine he decided to take a quick shower, afterwards he changed back into the t-shirt and shorts he’d slept in once fully realizing he’d have to return to his own bedroom to get clothes for the day. 

When he exited the bathroom, he found Oswald now awake, but still in bed. There was a moment of silence as Oswald stared at him, the look in his eyes the same as it had been that night on the couch. Ed smiled softly, he wondered how it was possible for one person to look at somebody with so much love and admiration, he wondered how he was deserving of such looks. Ed crawled onto the bed making his way up to his boyfriend, he settled himself on his lap resting his hands on his shoulders. He chuckled noticing the way the other man blushed. Timidly Oswald placed his hands on Ed’s hips, his hold gentle and nearly unsure. 

“I love the way you look at me.” Ed whispered, he stroked his fingers along the side of Oswald’s neck. 

“What way?” 

“Like you worship me, like I’m the most important thing in the room.”

“That’s because it’s true, you’re so very important to me. I fully intend on living the rest of my life with you.” Oswald responded, grip tightening the slightest bit as he pulled his body closer to him. He leaned up kissing him deeply, one hand moving to the back of his head his fingers curling in damp curls of brown hair. 

Ed moaned softly into the kiss, he shivered when he felt Oswald’s hands slowly move up under his shirt touching along his sides and his back, blunt nails lightly scratching against his back. 

“Marry me” Oswald whispered against his lips, Ed stilled pulling back to look at him.

Oswald’s eyes widened, a look of embarrassment on his face as he quickly looked away. 

“What?” Ed asked, voice raspy and confused.

“I’m sorry, I….I just….I’m sorry.” 

“Do you really mean that, that you want to marry me?” He asked ignoring his stammered apology.

Oswald nodded still not meeting his eyes. “Yes,” he whispered.

“Look at me, please.” 

The other man turned his gaze towards him, Ed could see the worry and fear in his eyes knowing without asking that he was waiting to be yelled at and rejected. Ed kissed him gently wanting to put his mind at ease, silently wanting to communicate that he was in no way mad or planning on rejecting him.

“I’d be more than happy to marry you.” 

“Really?”

“Of course, I promise I would never lie about such a thing. I love you Oz.”


End file.
